And then came Lori.

I wasn’t looking for a new friend. I didn’t even want a new friend.  Lord knows I didn’t need one more person in my life to disappoint. Their words say one thing but if you are paying attention, at all, you can see the disappointment conveyed with their eyes.

“Yes, I am in too much pain to go to the yard sales with you”.  “No, my back can’t take 2 hours in a movie theater chair”.  “I would love to come to your Christmas party but don’t you think your guests might be annoyed when I uproot them from the couch because my pain says it’s time to lay down”? 

I could fill a very lengthy post with the “excuses” I have had to give over the years, but I don’t want to make you go stir crazy hoping for actual content to come along.

I was down to one friendship and that one was tenuous at best. She was past the point of being fed up with my “excuses”. We had been friends for a very long time. We had weathered many storms together. We were always there for each other, no matter what, day or night.

Then came Lori. She came before that other friendship died. We met five years ago. Our boys were in third grade and had become the best of friends. They wanted to spend every waking moment together. That meant sleep overs. That meant getting to know the parents. I wondered how often I would disappoint them. It was inevitable. The boys seemed to want to do their sleep overs here most of the time which meant Lori and J (soon to be ex) would bring Erric over to my house. We would sit around talking and cutting up. I liked Lori instantly. She likes loves to laugh. I took an instant disliking to J. I even tried hard not to like Lori, only because I knew I would eventually see the disappointment in her eyes. If you don’t have any friends to lose, then it won’t hurt. Right?

We spent the next four years being in and out of touch. They moved a few times, got new phones and changed schools. It broke Josh’s heart every time we lost touch. It was something else to see Josh and Erric’s eyes dance with joy when we would bump into each other at the store after a long absence. I bumped into Lori at the store about a year and a half ago. No more “bumping into” since then. We have been inseparable since that day. Her little punch buggy was loaded down with belongings. She had finally realized she deserved better. She was moving into her own place. Of course Erric could spend the night with us while she was moving.

I wasted so many years being afraid to let her in. I will always regret that. I will never regret finally giving in to her sparking eyes and infectious laugh! We are not best friends. Not even close. We are sisters. We can sit for hours talking and joking about the dumbest things. Occasionally, we get serious and chat about important things. But shit, who has time for serious stuff when you can giggle like school girls all day? And guess what? I have NEVER seen disappointment in her eyes! When I hurt too much to sit up, we just each grab a couch, get cozy and go back to laughing.

Lori doesn’t let my pain interfere with our sisterhood. She works around it and fits me in. She often brings tears to my eyes and sometimes even makes me pee my pants. I am getting older, you know. Sometimes, the tears come because for the life of me I can’t figure out what I did to deserve this amazing woman being my friend – sister. I can only hope that I give to her spirit what she gives to mine. Her love is unconditional. Her spirit is bigger than life. When I am with her, I know I am home.

Lori, my beautiful sister, I love you more than life itself. Thank you for being such an incredible you and for being willing to put up with me. Most of all, thank you for eyes that have never conveyed disappointment and never will.

I hope everyone has a “Lori” in their lives. If not, I hope you find one soon!



17 thoughts on “And then came Lori.

  1. My mother turned me on to this LORI
    I ended up with this on record. She only recently told me this song was from HER teen years and it always helped her. I found it sad, and inspiring.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Oh, wow! Thank you for taking the time to find that and post it here for me. It is exactly how I felt most of my life, but NO MORE! I refuse. A couple days after writing the post about losing my will to live, it hit me like a ton of bricks that I didn’t feel like that until I moved in with my dad and step-dad at age 12. I am actually going to do a blog about it in a day or so. I am going to let my Lori listen to this tomorrow. I think she has felt that way at times as well. Thank you again for sharing this with me. I love it.




  2. What an inspiring post about friendship and sisterhood. I can relate to it very well in many ways actually and you write very well. Thank you for following my blog and it’s nice to meet you. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  3. It it always wonderful to find and keep someone who can relate to you and your experience in life. Having a wonderful person in your life makes it easier to deal with issues and all the curve balls that life throws at you.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. awwww you make me wish i had a friend… i left my best friends ‘back home’ when i moved and now only have online friends coz sickness and pain etc keep me housebound… how i wish i had someone who would want to come over and do coffee with me!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. This is one of the best things in life to have! I’m really happy for you. I do not have a “Lori” in my life. I do have good friends, but everyone has someone closer than me. And so was my entire life. But I hope I’m gonna meet my very best friend someday. Nice post!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Mia. I will keep you close to my heart and send all those good vibes out into the universe willing a “Lori” into your life.

      One thing that makes our friendship so strong is our number one rule. Honesty at all times – right away. That way even a tiny, unintentional hurt doesn’t build up. Same thing with our boys. If we have an issue with the other one’s child, we discuss it immediately. We are gentle with our words. We think before we speak. Another biggie for us is the understanding that whole we have a million things in common, it doesn’t mean we always have to agree with each other. We are separate human beings. I think one of the biggest problems with America right now is this silly belief that we have to be the same religion, same color, same economic status or same hair color you’re not okay. Why can’t we just accept each other as is? Sorry. Off on a tangent again. It took 52 years to find my “Lori” so as long as you are breathing, there is hope.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you very much! Both of you are so brave and you are an example for all of us. I will definitely let you know if I find my “Lori” some day. And yes, you are right that we have to express our feelings and to feel free to be different and to have our own opinions. Good luck to both of you!

        Liked by 1 person

    1. She is the bomb! I can be down in the dumps and can’t help but smile when she calls, texts or comes over because I know it will only be a minute before she has me laughing! She is my rock. I don’t ever want to experience a day without my “Lori”! One Lori a day keeps the doctor away! Forget the Apple. I really do hope everyone has a “Lori”.

      Liked by 1 person

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